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Is it just a phase?

“For that whole time, I was not being authentic. I was low-level terrified on a daily basis. And it doesn’t take an expert to think about the effect that has on someone’s nervous system. That repression is deadly.”

“Promiscuous, unreliable, secretly gay or straight” – bisexual (or pansexual) individuals find themselves stereotyped and often even rejected by potential partners.

Mark Cusack makes it a point to debunk these and other myths about sexuality, romance, and gender on his social media platform “notdefining”.

Growing up, Mark (he/they) felt alienated by gender expectations and unable to grasp his fluid sexual orientation. Out of fear that his full self might be rejected, he remained closeted, repressed what was queer about him, and questioned his identity in silence.

Unfortunately, repression doesn’t go well with one’s mental health. Battling with severe depression and anxiety is the price Mark paid for that life in the closet. But not anymore. Today, by being unapologetically authentic, Mark is the mentor he wished he had back then.

“Every pot has its lid”, a popular German proverb, meaning: While you might think you are just too weird, too queer, too in-between to be lovable, remember that there are always people who are attracted specifically to who you are. And no matter their orientation: Everyone is attracted to authenticity and self-love.

If you are questioning your sexuality or facing mental health struggles because of it, don’t do it on your own. Go check out @notdefining across social media to find a supportive community led by the incredibly kind, and welcoming Mark Cusack.


In short, we talk about this in the episode:


  • What are the stereotypes around bisexuality?
  • Can gender-fluid people find partners?
  • How are authenticity & mental health connected?
Mark Cusack | WHYLD Podcast Episode 39

Mark Cusack

Sexuality Coach

photo courtesy of Mark Cusack

Find Mark on

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